IT'S OUT OF CONTROL
LONDON . MANCHESTER . TOKYO . PUBLIC SPACE .All photos are taken with Sony NEX-5 . Nikon Coolpix 5200 . Canon IXUS75 . iPhone 4S .
Sugar Daddy - The ‘Loser Cake’ Date.
Are you sick of me talking about my friends strange meetings with Sugar Daddies? Because there is more to come.
Since this is probably going to be a frequent theme I’m going to start calling my friend “Kitty”.
So, Kitty was supposed to have a lesson lastnight - with the original Sugar Daddy - the CEO Japanese Sugar Daddy. But he cancelled on her. He wrote an email saying he had a meeting or something. Now, he comes from a country where people apologise for everything so Kitty was slightly annoyed at him for cancelling last minute and not seeming apologetic enough. Especially when it’s a Monday. She at least expected a box of graphite pencils and a Miu Miu bag type apology instead of a quick email. Yes, her standards have taken a new level.
She then receieved an email from a former student who wanted to meet up for coffee, not a lesson. She hadn’t seen him in a year and recalled him being a little geeky but thought she’d go to ease the pain of CEO Sugar Daddy standing her up.
It started well enough, but he rapidly started taking the ‘loser cake’. By this, I mean, if you were at some county fete and you were judging the cakes; you walk along a long row of perfect sponges, light, fluffy and immaculately decorated, and then you come to one at the end that hasn’t risen, is dry and crusty and has a few manky strawberries on top. You wonder why this person ever bothered to enter.
He started off asking her what she thought of his spoken English, she said it was good but that wasn’t enough, he wanted a full assessment done. “Do I say this right?” “Is this phrased correctly?” “Do I speak fast enough?”
He then asked her how her teaching job was going, and she thought that could have slipped under the “friendly interest” category…until he asked her if she had any text books with her!
Kitty’s jaw nearly hit the floor, if he wants an English Lesson, he can pay, a cup of coffee is not cutting it. Then, I am not making this up, he checked his watch and worked out, minus walking time, they’d been talking in English for an hour. So the date was over. (I still can’t stop cackling at this bit). A whirlwind of fire and rage, Kitty caught the train home wishing she had his address, so she could send him the bill.
How To Enjoy Modern Art 4
Really, to appreciate art and understand it you have to experience it first hand, go to exhibitions and visit new and national galleries. Don’t let anyone tell you what you like. Modern art is like sushi. Once you’ve tried it, if you get the taste for it, you want to have it again. And then, once you realise you haven’t been poisoned, you get braver, maybe even try sashimi; and in this way your taste advances as well as expands.
When in London visit the Serpentine, Hayward, Whitechapel, Saatchi and the National Portrait Galleries. Near Brighton you’ll find Charleston House and in dear old Manchester theres Manchester Gallery, Whitworth, Chinese Arts Centre, and Cornerhouse amongst others.
(Magda Archer; ‘Crazy Mad’ Cornerhouse Manchester)
Microwaves have got a bad rep. Not because of the technology but because people think what goes in is to be reheated; which is a bit mean. If you’re going to use it to the best of it’s ability, then what’s the problem?
Here’s proof; I cooked sweet, milky vermicelli entirely in the microwave. Easy and tasty. Pukka!
I’ve never tasted this type of tomato before so I thought I’d buy a few today. It far exceeded my expectations. Insanely crunchy, sweet and fragrant. I asked the grocer where they’re grown and he started educating me on the history of tomatoes… it went in one ear and out of the other. I don’t even remember the name, because it’s a tongue-twisting French one.
